


Weakness

by LadyDarkPhoenix (Phoenixfire)



Series: Flash Fiction [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alcoholic Tony Stark, Chronic Pain, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Medical Experimentation, Medical Trauma, Mental Anguish, Past Child Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 09:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13455675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenixfire/pseuds/LadyDarkPhoenix
Summary: Tony's thoughts on himself as shaped by his life.





	Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Idea-garden's flash fiction challenge day 21: Weak heart. Weak body. Weak mind.

**Weak heart:**

After the whole kidnapping, it was obvious that he had a weak heart. How else would it be with shards of shrapnel wanting to tear it to shreds? The palladium poisoning hadn't helped matters any, giving new hurt to his already damaged body. It was a miracle that the muscle hadn't given out from all the strain put on it through the fights and just fighting to survive. 

**Weak body:**

Between the, at the time, necessary moving of vital organs to prevent his inevitable demise from the shrapnel and the fact he just wasn't getting any younger, there were pains in his body that he'd never experienced. Before coming up with the technology to save himself from the permanent magnet lodged in his chest, whose power source had proven time and again to be a liability, he hadn't been able to breathe properly in years. His chest always felt like there was a car on top of him, slowly crushing it under its weight especially at night if he tried to lay on his back. There were times he was bruised and battered after battle he contemplated ending his constant suffering, but there was still so much he was responsible for fixing he couldn't stop until it was seen through.

**Weak mind:**

Sure, the world saw him as a brilliant mind, so ahead of everyone else when it came to technology, but if they knew how weak his mind really was they would certainly shun him for it. He still heard his father's words, calling him weak for caring about others, for having a heart that he tried so hard to lock away before it became his weakness. Telling him to man up after his small body had been beaten by the man raising him, when he wasn't shoved out of the way for the latest news on the captain's possible whereabouts or the newest bright mind that popped up. It crushed him then to be such a disappointment when all he wanted was for his father to see him, be proud of him, maybe save him. 

The alcohol had started as a way to try to bond with the hard drinking man, then it had taken over, becoming a necessity if he wanted to function. Father had seen addiction as a weakness, never admitting to his own, so another way he'd disappointed him. There were so many that he had just wanted it to stop. Nobody knew how many times his “accidental” hospitalizations had really been cries for help back then. His weak mind trying to stop the pains it endured, because to wish death upon yourself surely had to be a weakness, but it hasn't stopped him from continuing to try.


End file.
